picture

So the other day I had this guy come up to my chair for a hair cut.
I asked him what would he like done with his hair and he just stood there and said...

"I'm not a man of many words .... but a picture is worth a thousand..."

With that he handed me a photo of a hair cut as he slowly sat down in my chair with a blank expression on his face.

AMAZING!


So during the cut I  asked him if the length of his hair worked for him because its different from seeing it in the photo  to actually wearing it.

What does he say?

"There are instructions on the back of the photo."

Then continue to sit there motionless  with out saying a single word.

Full moon last week...

some things never change...

So its been a while since I've actually taken the time to update.

whoops...

On Canada's day one of my best girlfriends and I decided to go on an adventure two hours away to find an abandoned school house, only to discover after getting there that it was burnt to the ground.
We had our pups with us so we decided to just let them run around the field of the new school that was built over the old one.

We let the beasts out to run and my pup sees a massive dumpster and does a b line right for it and tried to jump in.

Oh I forgot to mention she is from Louisiana and was found in a dumpster as a baby...

Silly dumpster baby...

overly excited and drunk

The other day at work I did a full makeover on this woman.
Colour, foils, cut... it was really nice by the end of it all.
The lady was so excited she jumped up from my chair with her cape still on and kept running her hands through her hair saying how much she loved it and what an amazing job I did!
In the heat of the moment she reached back to grab my "elbow" but missed it by a long shot and grabbed my breast for a good 10 seconds.
She even turned around and said "Oh my! I thought that was your elbow!" As she still had a death grip on my left breast...

Last time I checked elbows were bony... breasts are not...

About an hour later a woman does a staggered zig zag walk and announced to the salon that she needs her bangs cut.
I bring her over to my chair... which took her quite some time as she was walking as if she was trying to roll her ankles with every step she took.
She finally sat in my chair as she tells me "I have to confess I tried cutting my own bangs with a dull pair of kitchen scissors after drinking a bottle of wiskey...."
Oh boy....
I quickly got her out of my chair as the smell of alcohol was burning my nostrils.
(Its funny I can never smell alcohol on people but this woman smelled as if she was bathing in it.)

Definitely a full moon...

kid shirt

After talking to this one guy for several weeks I decided to meet up with him.
During our chats it seemed to be a lot of twenty questions play in which he answered to his own questions. Every question he would reply to had a 90% chance of his answer being the exact same as mine or merly a quotation of my online dating profile.

Needless to say I figured he's far from the typical guy I date so maybe there is something else there besides the repetitive answers to twenty questions.

So the day finally comes and I meet him. The dinner was actually surprisingly going quite well. When the bill came we split it, only after he put me on the spot asking if I wanted him to pay for it or if we could split it.

After it was all paid for he asked if we wanted to walk around the mall after. Kind of strange for a first date to walk around a mall... but I just went with it.
So we get to a popular clothing store and he asks if I'd mind if we went in to check some things out.
Not a problem!
So we go in and hes on a "b line" for the mens section and then began trying on various plaid scarves (which coincidently enough reminded me of this guy that was in a colour class I went to a month back  for work, who was dressed up as a "gay pirate").

As I slowly try to distract myself from laughing he says "I'm going to take a quick peak in the kids section."
I think to my self  "what an awesome guy going to buy something for his nephew" ( as which he told me earlier that evening that he has a nephew with a birthday coming up)... OH BOY!
Was I ever wrong....
He then said to me that he can fit into kids t-shirts... and he wanted to see what kind of styles were out...

Did I forget to mention he was fairly built as well?

I tried to put it out of my mind....
as he was a nice guy.
I've been told that I'm picky when it comes to men so I thought maybe I'm over analyzing this guy wearing little boy t-shirts.
...

Yes we did go out a few more times.
Each of those times he never once even offered to buy me a drink, or to drive out to my place to visit.
The last time I saw him I drove out to his place, then took my car out to a restaurant where he proceeded to get pissed drunk in front of me, asked for separate bills when the waitress came around. Needless to say that evening ended rather abruptly.

Quite some time has gone by and I've been receiving random messages from him saying he was walking around and "casually" went passed my work to stop in and chat with me... however I've always been busy.
He also wanted to take me out for a drink... (or was it I take him out?)
This "casual" strolling pass my work thing occurred two times within a week...

I should also add in here that he apologized if he ever upset me.

fail

Here is a quick little msn convo I had with someone from a dating website...

*** says:
hey

Laura says:
hey whats up

*** says:
not too much you?

Laura says:
nothing much i should really get some laundry started

*** says:
boring
wanna come out later to watch the game?

Laura says:
im not into hockey or baseball
or which ever game your referring to
sorry darling

*** says:
i know its not really a sweet date but it would make my day
its playoffs darlin
k nevermind

Laura says:
sorry not really into hockey
thats very sweet of you to say tho

*** says:
baseball is gay by the way

Laura says:
my brother loves it....

*** says:
sweet
well if yu want you can take me to a jays game

healthy

So I'm a single lady and like most singles I've ventured to online dating.
Most of my friends have moved out of the city and have either settled down or have conflicting schedules so it's totally hard to go out to meet potential suitors.

Anyways needless to say I have been out on a few dates.
Some are okay, some ended up as a possible friendship, but I'm not here to talk about those. Let's face it, the terrible ones are the best ones.

I meet one guy at a restaurant and everything seems to be okay except I feel nothing.
No worries, these things happen. Trial and error right?

We talk about whatever people talk about on their first encounters until our dinner comes to a close. I excuse my self to use the facilities and come back to find him on his phone.
He does not put the phone away, instead tells me about how these girls on this dating site message him all the time.
Nice.
After a few more minutes of him checking his emails from other girls I tell him that dinner was nice and perhaps we should ask for the bill.

The bill comes, he pays, then he tells me that he isn't ready to go home just yet.
I suggest to go out for coffee even though I really want to get the hell out of there.
My nice side wins.

We go out for coffee.
He tells me about how he moved to the other side of the country with an ex, she cheated on him, he beat the shit out of the guy she cheated on him with, trashed the place, took his dog and drove home in one sitting.
He was so angry!

He tells me more about how he tried to get things back in order by sometimes working out. All while checking his phone several more times for emails from other girls.
Then comes the finale...
The guy tells me out of the blue
"I pee neon green. It means I'm healthy from all the vitamins I take."

Needless to say this date was called promptly over.


First dates are like interviews. Trying to impress, nerves get the better of you and no one gets to see your true self.

But shit... no one likes to hear about your body functions...