overly excited and drunk

The other day at work I did a full makeover on this woman.
Colour, foils, cut... it was really nice by the end of it all.
The lady was so excited she jumped up from my chair with her cape still on and kept running her hands through her hair saying how much she loved it and what an amazing job I did!
In the heat of the moment she reached back to grab my "elbow" but missed it by a long shot and grabbed my breast for a good 10 seconds.
She even turned around and said "Oh my! I thought that was your elbow!" As she still had a death grip on my left breast...

Last time I checked elbows were bony... breasts are not...

About an hour later a woman does a staggered zig zag walk and announced to the salon that she needs her bangs cut.
I bring her over to my chair... which took her quite some time as she was walking as if she was trying to roll her ankles with every step she took.
She finally sat in my chair as she tells me "I have to confess I tried cutting my own bangs with a dull pair of kitchen scissors after drinking a bottle of wiskey...."
Oh boy....
I quickly got her out of my chair as the smell of alcohol was burning my nostrils.
(Its funny I can never smell alcohol on people but this woman smelled as if she was bathing in it.)

Definitely a full moon...

kid shirt

After talking to this one guy for several weeks I decided to meet up with him.
During our chats it seemed to be a lot of twenty questions play in which he answered to his own questions. Every question he would reply to had a 90% chance of his answer being the exact same as mine or merly a quotation of my online dating profile.

Needless to say I figured he's far from the typical guy I date so maybe there is something else there besides the repetitive answers to twenty questions.

So the day finally comes and I meet him. The dinner was actually surprisingly going quite well. When the bill came we split it, only after he put me on the spot asking if I wanted him to pay for it or if we could split it.

After it was all paid for he asked if we wanted to walk around the mall after. Kind of strange for a first date to walk around a mall... but I just went with it.
So we get to a popular clothing store and he asks if I'd mind if we went in to check some things out.
Not a problem!
So we go in and hes on a "b line" for the mens section and then began trying on various plaid scarves (which coincidently enough reminded me of this guy that was in a colour class I went to a month back  for work, who was dressed up as a "gay pirate").

As I slowly try to distract myself from laughing he says "I'm going to take a quick peak in the kids section."
I think to my self  "what an awesome guy going to buy something for his nephew" ( as which he told me earlier that evening that he has a nephew with a birthday coming up)... OH BOY!
Was I ever wrong....
He then said to me that he can fit into kids t-shirts... and he wanted to see what kind of styles were out...

Did I forget to mention he was fairly built as well?

I tried to put it out of my mind....
as he was a nice guy.
I've been told that I'm picky when it comes to men so I thought maybe I'm over analyzing this guy wearing little boy t-shirts.
...

Yes we did go out a few more times.
Each of those times he never once even offered to buy me a drink, or to drive out to my place to visit.
The last time I saw him I drove out to his place, then took my car out to a restaurant where he proceeded to get pissed drunk in front of me, asked for separate bills when the waitress came around. Needless to say that evening ended rather abruptly.

Quite some time has gone by and I've been receiving random messages from him saying he was walking around and "casually" went passed my work to stop in and chat with me... however I've always been busy.
He also wanted to take me out for a drink... (or was it I take him out?)
This "casual" strolling pass my work thing occurred two times within a week...

I should also add in here that he apologized if he ever upset me.