So I just finished work and the stupidest thing happened.
I asked a guy if he wanted a shampoo before his hair cut.
He responded with
"No, I'm very clean."
HA!
Saturday, March 26, 2011
Friday, March 25, 2011
pup scare
Whenever I hear this song it immediately reminds me of it startling my boxer I once had.
When the clip rolls and "HEY" is said immediately it would startle him and he would look up at me with his big doe eyes...
Christ I miss him...
When the clip rolls and "HEY" is said immediately it would startle him and he would look up at me with his big doe eyes...
Christ I miss him...
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Wednesday, March 23, 2011
here is something different...
So I just found this song that was on a commercial...
I like it so I figured I'd share it
I like it so I figured I'd share it
feb
So this is going back about a month ago.
I had this girl come in for a hair cut with the most terrible eyebrows known to man kind.
It literally startled me.
It was as if she was trying to grow them back in and they were just specks all over with an existing thicker eyebrow in the middle of the cluster of hairs.
OK I admit I am an eyebrow critic...
Anywhoo... by the time I get her in my chair, I realize that her eyebrows are possibly the only thing "sane" about her.
She starts to tell me about her most amazing boyfriend.
They met on a dating website and they have the best relationship ever.
Even though that she works only two days a week she plans to move into a house with him and that he is going to drop everything in the town that he lives in to move out to her.
Lucky girl...
I asked where her boyfriend lives.
She tells me the name of a town thats about an hour and a half away that is notorious for sex and drugs.
I ask how often they see each other.
She said once every two weeks because she doesn't drive.
(no wonder the relationship is soo good)
She tells me that she is going to take the bus out to see him this upcoming weekend because its her birthday in two days.
I tried to tell her happy birthday before she manically cuts me off and snaps "Guess what?!? His birthday is in FEB too!"
I said oh yeah? pretty cool...
I know right? Who would have thought I was born in FEB... then my boyfriends birthday is in FEB... What are the odds?!
First off I cant seem to wrap my mind around why she thinks its crazy that someone else has their birthday in the same month as her...
Secondly why is she saying "feb"and not February!
She goes on talking about Feb and what a great time it is to be born in Feb and the odds of dating someone who was also born in Feb...
One of her friends comes in and sits in the empty station beside me who has equally terrible eyebrows and asks how her day is going.
My client starts to abruptly yell out
HEY GIRL FRIEND!!!! OH JUST GETTING THE ROYAL TREATMENT DONE...
she is literally talking the way a very flamboyant "queen" would be flipping her wrist back and forth and trying to snap her neck at the same time.
Curious... she wasn't talking like this prior to her friend coming in.
She goes on talking about how amazing her "bf" is while interrupting her friend at every possible chance she gets.
As I'm concentrating on my work just to get her out, I notice a coworker is shampooing her next client behind me talking about how its her birthday.
Immediately my client overheard this part and said "BIRHTDAY GIRLS IN THE HA-HOUSE!!"and starts pumping her fists in the air.
Who the fuck is this crazy brawd?! Were not at the jersey shore...
Uncontrollable out bursts tag teamed with sparatic neck movements.... it all really makes me question if there is something seriously wrong with this girl.
At the end of the cut she asks me where she can get her eyebrows fixed.
I gladly told her where to go.
I had this girl come in for a hair cut with the most terrible eyebrows known to man kind.
It literally startled me.
It was as if she was trying to grow them back in and they were just specks all over with an existing thicker eyebrow in the middle of the cluster of hairs.
OK I admit I am an eyebrow critic...
Anywhoo... by the time I get her in my chair, I realize that her eyebrows are possibly the only thing "sane" about her.
She starts to tell me about her most amazing boyfriend.
They met on a dating website and they have the best relationship ever.
Even though that she works only two days a week she plans to move into a house with him and that he is going to drop everything in the town that he lives in to move out to her.
Lucky girl...
I asked where her boyfriend lives.
She tells me the name of a town thats about an hour and a half away that is notorious for sex and drugs.
I ask how often they see each other.
She said once every two weeks because she doesn't drive.
(no wonder the relationship is soo good)
She tells me that she is going to take the bus out to see him this upcoming weekend because its her birthday in two days.
I tried to tell her happy birthday before she manically cuts me off and snaps "Guess what?!? His birthday is in FEB too!"
I said oh yeah? pretty cool...
I know right? Who would have thought I was born in FEB... then my boyfriends birthday is in FEB... What are the odds?!
First off I cant seem to wrap my mind around why she thinks its crazy that someone else has their birthday in the same month as her...
Secondly why is she saying "feb"and not February!
She goes on talking about Feb and what a great time it is to be born in Feb and the odds of dating someone who was also born in Feb...
One of her friends comes in and sits in the empty station beside me who has equally terrible eyebrows and asks how her day is going.
My client starts to abruptly yell out
HEY GIRL FRIEND!!!! OH JUST GETTING THE ROYAL TREATMENT DONE...
she is literally talking the way a very flamboyant "queen" would be flipping her wrist back and forth and trying to snap her neck at the same time.
Curious... she wasn't talking like this prior to her friend coming in.
She goes on talking about how amazing her "bf" is while interrupting her friend at every possible chance she gets.
As I'm concentrating on my work just to get her out, I notice a coworker is shampooing her next client behind me talking about how its her birthday.
Immediately my client overheard this part and said "BIRHTDAY GIRLS IN THE HA-HOUSE!!"and starts pumping her fists in the air.
Who the fuck is this crazy brawd?! Were not at the jersey shore...
Uncontrollable out bursts tag teamed with sparatic neck movements.... it all really makes me question if there is something seriously wrong with this girl.
At the end of the cut she asks me where she can get her eyebrows fixed.
I gladly told her where to go.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
cold bath
So today I didn't realize anything was out of the ordinary until one of my coworkers pointed out that the guy (whose hair I was currently shampooing) had an erection.
SHAMPOO OVER!
Try keeping a straight face after that!
During the hair cut he tried to impress me by telling me he just came from court and that he's a lawyer.
He also had terrible oily dandruff.
I felt so dirty after.
SHAMPOO OVER!
Try keeping a straight face after that!
During the hair cut he tried to impress me by telling me he just came from court and that he's a lawyer.
He also had terrible oily dandruff.
I felt so dirty after.
Tuesday, March 8, 2011
just plain crazy
I decided to break up this delightful client's experience into two parts. I think that she earned it...
So a few hours go by and sure enough this lady who is on four different mood stabilizers comes back into the shop. I can hardly contain my excitement as I quickly notice that she has company.
This woman has a teen aged, loud mouthed, arrogant daughter.
I'm actually still baffled at how this woman could really care for another being.
So I sit this lady back in my chair and asked her "What were you thinking of for your hair? I was told that you wanted to go a lot shorter."
She replies "I want it all gone, so it is almost buzzed up the back."
Wonderful.
I start cutting her hair as she informally introduces me to her daughter who is obnoxiously smacking her gum and chewing it like a horse.
Everything seems to be fine, almost as if this daughter made the mother sane. That or perhaps she took some medication before she came back out.
Her daughter starts asking the most pointless questions just to irritate the mother for the next twenty minutes like
"weren't you just here?"
"why are you getting your hair cut again?"
"do you have any cigarettes?"
"why can't I have ice cream?"
"why are were here?"
The daughter finally leaves to get her eyebrows waxed after taking $40 out of her mothers wallet.
Her mom continues to pass in and out of consciousness while tilting her head forward only to snap it back, making my job incredibly irritating...
Sure enough her daughter comes back with literally her entire upper face red and splotchy from this eyebrow waxing that I literally had to bite my lip from howling.
The mother didn't seem to notice the daughters botched up wax job nor the fact that her daughter swiped forty dollars out of her wallet for this.
I finally finished up the cut and the lady had a few minor outbursts towards her daughter telling her to "shut up" several times because she wouldn't get her ice cream... who eats ice cream while getting their hair cut?
That is just strange to me.
When I finished this lady's hair cut I showed her the "almost buzzed" back of her hair and prayed to god that I wouldn't have to deal with ever her again.
She thanked me, then started to make her way out of the salon as the duo bitched at each other very loudly like a pair of teenagers.
Second time wasn't as bad as the first.
She was still a treat though.
So a few hours go by and sure enough this lady who is on four different mood stabilizers comes back into the shop. I can hardly contain my excitement as I quickly notice that she has company.
This woman has a teen aged, loud mouthed, arrogant daughter.
I'm actually still baffled at how this woman could really care for another being.
So I sit this lady back in my chair and asked her "What were you thinking of for your hair? I was told that you wanted to go a lot shorter."
She replies "I want it all gone, so it is almost buzzed up the back."
Wonderful.
I start cutting her hair as she informally introduces me to her daughter who is obnoxiously smacking her gum and chewing it like a horse.
Everything seems to be fine, almost as if this daughter made the mother sane. That or perhaps she took some medication before she came back out.
Her daughter starts asking the most pointless questions just to irritate the mother for the next twenty minutes like
"weren't you just here?"
"why are you getting your hair cut again?"
"do you have any cigarettes?"
"why can't I have ice cream?"
"why are were here?"
The daughter finally leaves to get her eyebrows waxed after taking $40 out of her mothers wallet.
Her mom continues to pass in and out of consciousness while tilting her head forward only to snap it back, making my job incredibly irritating...
Sure enough her daughter comes back with literally her entire upper face red and splotchy from this eyebrow waxing that I literally had to bite my lip from howling.
The mother didn't seem to notice the daughters botched up wax job nor the fact that her daughter swiped forty dollars out of her wallet for this.
I finally finished up the cut and the lady had a few minor outbursts towards her daughter telling her to "shut up" several times because she wouldn't get her ice cream... who eats ice cream while getting their hair cut?
That is just strange to me.
When I finished this lady's hair cut I showed her the "almost buzzed" back of her hair and prayed to god that I wouldn't have to deal with ever her again.
She thanked me, then started to make her way out of the salon as the duo bitched at each other very loudly like a pair of teenagers.
Second time wasn't as bad as the first.
She was still a treat though.
Monday, March 7, 2011
crazy for paris
You know when there is a full moon just around the corner when people start to behave a bit more nonchalant.
I'll put you in the scene of my work place going back about a month ago.
It's a regular morning shift until a frantic woman comes in and explains that she needs only a trim because she cant handle her hair any longer.
As I'm washing her hair she explains to me that she was injured in her work place thus putting her on disability due to brain injuries.
I started to feel terrible for her situation until she opened her mouth for the next 40 + minutes.
So much insanity started to spill out of her mouth.
She explained to me that she was put on 4 different mood stabilizers and two different anti-depressants.
Oh boy.... this is going to be a real treat!
So she's finally in my chair and then tells me that as she had said before she would like a trim. she likes the length so I went ahead with this "trim" (all while her head is parallel to the floor some how and I'm certain that she has passed out due to the pharmaceuticals in her system).
After I finish this I ask her how the length of her hair was. She suddenly yells out CHOP IT OFF!
Excuse me?
Besides just nearly giving me a heart attack from her outburst I look at her with a raised eyebrow as I have already pretty much finished her hair cut.
She holds up a magazine in her lap and says "I want this!"
It displayed a completley different short hair cut.
I explain to her that that would be significantly more than just a trim and I went ahead and starting cutting. All while in the back of my mind I fucking hope that she doesn't change her mind in 35 seconds from now and starts screaming.
As I'm doing my job she starts flipping through the hair magazine in a very aggressive manner ripping nearly every page as she does so. Pauses... then smacks the magazine and mutters "Look at how shes staring at me..."
"excuse me?"
"those eyes... shes staring at me... I fucking hate her"
Concern hits me like a ton of bricks as I stop and say "um... who are you talking about...?"
She points to the well known celeberity smiling in the magazine.
Do I dare tell her that this celeberity is actually a photograph and that she is actually smiling at the camera that snapped this shot?
I let it be.
I chuckled and I said "Oh you know... those people in there always have such fake smiles sometimes..."
She responds "She always smiles at me with that slutty look... it makes me so angry... i just want to break her.... I would punch her in the face so hard..."
Needless to say at this point I'm seriously stepping in front of my sheers and razor blade displayed in front of her and turn on the hair drier to mute her out.
I finished the hair cut not saying anymore more to her after this...
I don't think this lady really cared as she seemed to be passing in and out of consciousness while holding up that magazine with that page facing her.
After a good hour has passed I'm so ready to get rid of this lady so I show her the back of her hair.
She says "well its nice but I wanted it shorter..."
Are you FUCKING kidding me...
At this point I said well you can always come back for your next trim and we can go shorter.
(as this woman clearly has the memory of a gold fish... she says one thing then then to only forget what she had previously asked for )
She said thank you because her hair is very difficult to work with as it is thick like oriential hair and it did feel better.
This made me shake my head because this is a caucasian lady with medium thickness hair ... nothing oriential about it.
I just smiled and nodded and away she went.
Thank god.
The phone rings 40 minutes later...
This lady is on the other end. She wants her hair shorter and is coming back to me.
Three hair cuts in one day on one person who is clearly out to lunch...
I'll put you in the scene of my work place going back about a month ago.
It's a regular morning shift until a frantic woman comes in and explains that she needs only a trim because she cant handle her hair any longer.
As I'm washing her hair she explains to me that she was injured in her work place thus putting her on disability due to brain injuries.
I started to feel terrible for her situation until she opened her mouth for the next 40 + minutes.
So much insanity started to spill out of her mouth.
She explained to me that she was put on 4 different mood stabilizers and two different anti-depressants.
Oh boy.... this is going to be a real treat!
So she's finally in my chair and then tells me that as she had said before she would like a trim. she likes the length so I went ahead with this "trim" (all while her head is parallel to the floor some how and I'm certain that she has passed out due to the pharmaceuticals in her system).
After I finish this I ask her how the length of her hair was. She suddenly yells out CHOP IT OFF!
Excuse me?
Besides just nearly giving me a heart attack from her outburst I look at her with a raised eyebrow as I have already pretty much finished her hair cut.
She holds up a magazine in her lap and says "I want this!"
It displayed a completley different short hair cut.
I explain to her that that would be significantly more than just a trim and I went ahead and starting cutting. All while in the back of my mind I fucking hope that she doesn't change her mind in 35 seconds from now and starts screaming.
As I'm doing my job she starts flipping through the hair magazine in a very aggressive manner ripping nearly every page as she does so. Pauses... then smacks the magazine and mutters "Look at how shes staring at me..."
"excuse me?"
"those eyes... shes staring at me... I fucking hate her"
Concern hits me like a ton of bricks as I stop and say "um... who are you talking about...?"
She points to the well known celeberity smiling in the magazine.
Do I dare tell her that this celeberity is actually a photograph and that she is actually smiling at the camera that snapped this shot?
I let it be.
I chuckled and I said "Oh you know... those people in there always have such fake smiles sometimes..."
She responds "She always smiles at me with that slutty look... it makes me so angry... i just want to break her.... I would punch her in the face so hard..."
Needless to say at this point I'm seriously stepping in front of my sheers and razor blade displayed in front of her and turn on the hair drier to mute her out.
I finished the hair cut not saying anymore more to her after this...
I don't think this lady really cared as she seemed to be passing in and out of consciousness while holding up that magazine with that page facing her.
After a good hour has passed I'm so ready to get rid of this lady so I show her the back of her hair.
She says "well its nice but I wanted it shorter..."
Are you FUCKING kidding me...
At this point I said well you can always come back for your next trim and we can go shorter.
(as this woman clearly has the memory of a gold fish... she says one thing then then to only forget what she had previously asked for )
She said thank you because her hair is very difficult to work with as it is thick like oriential hair and it did feel better.
This made me shake my head because this is a caucasian lady with medium thickness hair ... nothing oriential about it.
I just smiled and nodded and away she went.
Thank god.
The phone rings 40 minutes later...
This lady is on the other end. She wants her hair shorter and is coming back to me.
Three hair cuts in one day on one person who is clearly out to lunch...
Saturday, March 5, 2011
05.03.2011
Where to start....
I'm 29, single and a hair stylist.
That's something...Right?
When your a hair stylist you come into contact with some serious characters. People tend to think that they can open up to you just because your holding a very sharp tool close to their proximity and then it all spills out...
Don't get me wrong, I love the occasional crazy; it really livens up my day. However lately I seem to attract a lot of them both while behind the chair as well as being out and about.
I love a good laugh so it can come in handy when life is so serious.
Laura
I'm 29, single and a hair stylist.
That's something...Right?
When your a hair stylist you come into contact with some serious characters. People tend to think that they can open up to you just because your holding a very sharp tool close to their proximity and then it all spills out...
Don't get me wrong, I love the occasional crazy; it really livens up my day. However lately I seem to attract a lot of them both while behind the chair as well as being out and about.
I love a good laugh so it can come in handy when life is so serious.
Laura
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)