crazy for paris

You know when there is a full moon just around the corner when people start to behave a bit more nonchalant.

I'll put you in the scene of my work place going back about a month ago.
It's a regular morning shift until a frantic woman comes in and explains that she needs only a trim because she cant handle her hair any longer.
As I'm washing her hair she explains to me that she was injured in her work place thus putting her on disability due to brain injuries.

I started to feel terrible for her situation until she opened her mouth for the next 40 + minutes.
So much insanity started to spill out of her mouth.


She explained to me that she was put on 4 different mood stabilizers and two different anti-depressants.
Oh boy.... this is going to be a real treat!

So she's finally in my chair and then tells me that as she had said before she would like a trim. she likes the length so I went ahead with this "trim" (all while her head is parallel to the floor some how and I'm certain that she has passed out due to the pharmaceuticals in her system).

After I finish this I ask her how the length of her hair was. She suddenly yells out CHOP IT OFF!
Excuse me?
Besides just nearly giving me a heart attack from her outburst I look at her with a raised eyebrow as I have already pretty much finished her hair cut.
She holds up a magazine in her lap and says "I want this!"
It displayed a completley different short hair cut.
I explain to her that that would be significantly more than just a trim and I went ahead  and starting cutting. All while in the back of my mind I fucking hope that she doesn't change her mind in 35 seconds from now and starts screaming.

As I'm doing my job she starts flipping through the hair magazine in a very aggressive manner ripping nearly every page as she does so. Pauses... then smacks the magazine and mutters "Look at how shes staring at me..."
"excuse me?"
"those eyes... shes staring at me... I fucking hate her"

Concern hits me like a ton of bricks as I stop and say "um... who are you talking about...?"

She points to the well known celeberity smiling in the magazine.
Do I dare tell her that this celeberity is actually a photograph and that she is actually smiling at the camera that snapped this shot?
I let it be.

I chuckled and I said "Oh you know... those people in there always have such fake smiles sometimes..."
She responds "She always smiles at me with that slutty look... it makes me so angry... i just want to break her.... I would punch her in the face so hard..."

Needless to say at this point I'm seriously stepping in front of my sheers and razor blade displayed in front of her and turn on the hair drier to mute her out.

I finished the hair cut not saying anymore more to her after this...
I don't think this lady really cared as she seemed to  be passing in and out of consciousness while holding up that magazine with that page facing her.

After a good hour has passed I'm so ready to get rid of this lady so I show her the back of her hair.
She says "well its nice but I wanted it shorter..."
Are you FUCKING kidding me... 
At this point I said well you can always come back for your next trim and we can go shorter.
(as this woman clearly has the memory of a gold fish... she says one thing then then to only forget what she had previously asked for )

She said thank you because her hair is very difficult to work with as it is thick like oriential hair and it did feel better.
This made me shake my head because this is a caucasian lady with medium  thickness hair ... nothing oriential about it.
I just smiled and nodded and away she went.

Thank god.

The phone rings 40 minutes later...
This lady is on the other end. She wants her hair shorter and is coming back to me.
Three hair cuts in one day on one person who is clearly out to lunch...